Artwork by Cindy Bolivar (I believe), whom I’ve never met. Cool!
Hey so I wrote a story for randomdraggon’s fanfic contest. I know it was supposed to be mainly about Hanna and Zombie but I couldn’t help adding in Lamont and Adelaide because they are my absolute favorite. I am not sure how good it is but I figured after reading so much fic I could contribute a little.
ON INVITING SUPERNATURAL CREATURES INTO YOUR HOME
Lamont and Adelaide
The ocean is powerful. It’s tides can’t be overcome, it’s depths can’t be explored. Adelaide likes to think she is a force of nature. She likes to think she is dangerous. She also likes to think she is a poet. So when Lamont discovers her at his place, having claimed it for her own, her response to his “Hehe, please leave NOW” were the words “Don’t try to stop me Mr. Toucey, I’m like the tide: I’ll always come in.”
“That is of the opposite of true Adelaide, you will come in if somebody invites you to come in.”
“Which you already did, you invited the ocean in because it was beautiful and you forgot that it was dangerous as well.”
“That’s the dumbest shit I have ever heard Adelaide,” Lamont says, finally losing his temper and getting a bit embarrassed at the same time “get the fuck out.”
Adelaide knows it’s cheesy, but Adelaide also doesn’t give a fuck if anyone thinks she is cheesy.
“Whether or not you like my metaphors, you still can’t do anything about it. I’m here for now, until I decide to leave you can whine about it or you can accept it and we can have a little fun.”
Lamont sighs. “So you’re an ocean now, huh? Last time I checked you were a storm.”
Adelaide grins and says “unstoppable, fierce, and deadly.”
“Yeah, and before that you were the night.”
“Dark and mysterious.”
“God you are so fucking corny.” Lamont laughs.
Whether or not he wants Adelaide there, she is there until she decides to leave or until she gets bored so he has to roll with it and possibly spend less time at home than he might usually do. He could bother Worth, that’s always good for a laugh.
Adelaide liked her silly turns of phrase, she took them seriously. Even though they made him laugh, they held some truth. Adelaide was dangerous, she was a force of nature and every minute they were together it was apparent that she was less than human. She darts around the room just a tad too fast, everything about her seems pointy. Being in the same room feels like a storm is waiting to blow in, so maybe she got something right with all of those damn metaphors.
They both do their work at night, it would be so much easier if he had a regular job and left all day so he never had to see her, hiding in his dark cave of an apartment.
But Lamont has always been drawn to people like Adelaide, people who didn’t give a fuck, people who were nasty, people who were out for themselves, to put it shortly: bitches. They made him laugh and he always knew what he was in for. Hell, Worth was his best friend and he was one hell of a bitch.
Adelaide did bitch better than most people. She came when she wanted, took what she wanted, and did what she wanted. Thankfully his clothing didn’t really fit her so he didn’t have to worry about that.
Hanna and Zombie
One day he wasn’t there and the next day he was. There was never really a conversation about Orwell moving in, it just happened, and it was good. Very, very good.
Hanna was not the kind of person that was good at taking care of himself, he was not very good at being an adult. Most of the time other things seemed more important than feeding himself or sleeping properly, like all the rad books on his shelf that he had never read, or learning about constellations, or practicing new spells. The result was that he was very good at running on little sleep and was often confused at where all of these headaches were coming from (hint: if you don’t eat and sleep right your head will hurt like mad crazy).
Frederick was very good at helping Hanna live like a real adult but like in an awesome bro looking out for his best bro kind of way because someone who is DEFINITELY 24 GUYS, I SWEAR, didn’t need a babysitter.
In addition to helping Hanna keep some kind of control over his life, Hanna has said this before, but Victor is like his first real friend since high school. Once he got all of the FEEEEEELINGS out of the way the first time it got much easier to talk about that part. Having a real friend again was AWESOME! Stuart is like the chillest bro a guy could have, he was always up to talk about anything and is super low judgment even when Hanna’s ideas get a little wacky.
“So Igor, I was thinking that since you joined the team maybe we need like a super rad team name!”
“Joined the team … . . ?”
“Yeah like the investigation team! Well you joined the friend team too but I don’t think I can afford to make business cards for our friendship, maybe if business picks up but yeah, not super likely.”
“I see Hanna, what kind of name were you thinking of?”
Hanna squints up at the ceiling to show just how hard he is thinking “I had not actually figured that part out yet. Hmmmmm, give me a minute.”
Hanna squirms in his chair while Alonso quietly cooks stir-fry. Occasionally he makes humming sounds. It seems he is still thinking quite hard so Theodore waits patiently.
Finally Hanna perks up “Well Mystery Inc. is already taken, but I think if we can come up with a cool name our tag line can be ‘We’ll make your mysteries history!’ that’s cool right?”
“I am partial to rhymes.”
“Now if only we could figure out the name of our team! Haha I hope it doesn’t take as long as figuring out your name, that’s not a sore subject is it?”
“It’s fine, Hanna.”
“Okay, that’s good to know. You always want to know what your friends are cool with.”
“Yes Hanna I am aware, how about ‘Cross and Associate Investigations?”
“YEESH! Dude that is SO BORING!”
“My apologies Hanna come eat dinner, the stir fry is ready.”
“Aw man, you are the actual best!”
Hanna eats better and sleeps better with Gregor in the house. He has someone to talk to. He thinks it was an excellent idea to live with Anthony, he gained a housemate and a best friend.
Conrad and Veser
It wasn’t that Conrad invited Veser into his home so much that Veser was forced into that position and didn’t really care to leave once he was there. Maybe he should have felt more at ease seeing as they were both supernatural creatures. Maybe not.
“GET YOUR FEET OFF MY COFFEE TABLE YOU BRAT.”
“MAKE ME DICKWIPE.”
“THAT ISN’T EVEN A REAL INSULT.”
“UH YEAH IT IS, I JUST MADE IT UP.”
Hanna has the ability to be the most frightening person.
whenever i get an essay assignment i immediately go “how can i work a feminist and anti capitalist rant into this”
How about focus on the fucking essay and not make everything about your passions? You don’t see me making a rant about whales in every fucking essay I get.
i study sociology and politics, its always relevant you fucking weirdo. go fuck a whale or something.
hobbit au where bilbo’s sword, sting, is not actually a sword but sting, the lead singer of the police, who glows blue when orcs and goblins are nearby